Fall in Love!
LOVE is our December word of the month. Think for a minute about the expression “fall in love” and what that takes. We don’t climb into love, or effort into love – we fall. To “fall” we really have to do three things: Allow, Trust and Surrender.
Love is a theme during the holidays, but it can easily take on transactional or surface/material meanings if we let it. This year, consider re-framing your concept of love in order to…
1. Fall In Love With Yourself
Love is an inner state – how you are within yourself can be unconditional, and loving yourself makes it possible for you to love outside yourself. The reverse also is true – without self-love and self-acceptance it is impossible to unconditionally and truly love others.
Let’s apply those three words here:
- Can you ALLOW your innermost self to simply be? Can you feel him/her fully, without trying to edit or change a thing – just feel, notice & allow.
- Next can you TRUST that your innermost self will never steer you wrong. And can you trust that your innermost self is exactly as he/she is meant to be. Feel that trust and invisible support in your being.
- Lastly, can you SURRENDER? (This is the falling part!) Can you let go of everything in you that is trying to question, criticize, edit & control – let it all go – and let yourself fall? When you practice authenticity, you begin to fall in love with yourself.
Cathy Adams of Zen Parenting Radio offered this perspective on Self-Love: “Things just flow when we love ourselves and trust who we are. We are inherently good simply because we are here. We don’t need any other validation or proof. And what greater gift can we give our children than to practice self love and teach self love so they can hold onto the inner knowing and self trust that they were born with.”
2. Fall In Love With Others
When we talk about “true love” it has to be unconditional. There is no such thing as conditional “love” – if there are conditions, those are simply conditions. Love is not transactional. Love simply is.
But before we can absorb falling in love with others, we’ve really gotta make SURE we get can fall in love with ourselves first. It’s easy to feel the pull of others (maybe even stronger when we lack the self-love we need). So to bridge into step #2 (loving others), practice first tapping that innermost energy & acknowledging where that comes from (you!)
The next time you feel yourself pulled by the attraction of another person, try to shift your focus from the object/person to the feelings – and take a minute to recognize those feelings came from INSIDE YOU, not outside. With that recognition, try those three words again: ALLOW yourself to feel those strong inner feelings, and then allow yourself to connect with this other person. TRUST that you are supposed to connect. And then SURRENDER – how that connection will look, progress, endure or end is not important to love. Love simply is.
“I think I fall in love a little bit with anyone who shows me their soul. This world is so guarded and fearful. I appreciate rawness so much” – Emery Allen.
Make an effort to connect soul-to-soul with everyone you encounter. Make eye contact. Smile. Be present. Be open. Expect amazing things to happen. Fall in love with everyone a little bit.
3. Fall In Love With Your Life!
Share the bliss. You can use your breath to spread great energy throughout your body, and likewise you can use your intention to spread your love everywhere!
Remember, again, love is not something that happens to you – it is something that is within you. And it’s limitless as long as it is unconditional. To “fall” into love with your life, you do the same things: ALLOW yourself to be present as often as possible. Be in your life – be with yourself, be with your own thoughts/sensations/emotions, be with that person, be with nature… Whatever you do just be there and pay attention.
TRUST the energy that comes up when you are truly present in any situation. Feel, notice and appreciate it all. And then SURRENDER. Love everything but also let go of everything – let go with love and gratitude.
If this all seems like a lot to practice, practice using “for now” – ie, For now I will allow… For now I will trust… For now I will surrender…
And don’t forget to bring all this LOVE into your TDM practice! During class, practice self-love: Choose loving and accepting thoughts, set loving intentions, literally embrace yourself!
Give yourself an inside-out hug by drawing energy to your midline, engaging your deepest core muscles, hugging muscle to bone, hugging skin to muscle… Breathe! ALLOW yourself to be fully present and engaged in your practice – feel every second of it; TRUST your body – it’s so smart and it wants to be in optimal alignment; it wants to be healthy and strong; it wants to support you. Lastly, SURRENDER – let go of your goals, fixes, criticisms and expectations. Just be in your practice and feel good. Love your body right here right now.
Life coach Rita Hyland offers these words of wisdom to support your love practice:
“It all starts with self-love. Love is not meant to be given when we produce, achieve or have the admiration of X. Real love means loving ourselves even when we forget a meeting, the house is a mess, our body wasn’t strong in our exercise class, we’ve ‘produced’ no tangible result today, and our family member or colleague is not impressed with our latest efforts. Loving ourselves through and in spite of this is how we step into our fullest and happiest versions of ourselves.”
“Fall” in love this month. All the support in the universe is there to catch you!
— Jill and Lorna