Support- it’s something we all need. The support of the earth working in opposition to our muscles to hold us upright, the support of our beds to allow us to soften and sleep, the support of people in our lives to help us grow, love, and feel safe.
For many people, asking others or allowing others to support them feels uncomfortable. Our lives have become increasingly busy and stressful, and as a result, it has led us to collectively adopt a mentality that we should be able to handle it all by ourselves.
I was one of those people. Things shifted for me, though, early on in my divorce when I broke my ankle (okay, my dog broke my ankle). I was suddenly more alone than I’d been in a long time and felt like I had no one to help me. I remember one evening coming home after the kids were already asleep, I had stairs to climb in order to get to my room, and I desperately wanted to take a glass of water up with me. It was terrible. I think it took me about 20 minutes and – quite a few tears to accomplish the feat. It was at that moment that I truly acknowledged what a vulnerable place I was in. I became clear that if I continued attempting to manage my life on my own, I would either end up spending unmanageable amounts of time accomplishing every task – or at the very least – I would be crying all of the time. Neither scenario was optimal, and I had the time for neither.
I began allowing myself to ask for and accept help. First, it was prodding my children; then, it was accepting offers from my friends. I finally noticed I had it down with a simple act. I was trying to get into my car with a coffee cup in my hand. Without even thinking, I turned to a stranger near the car next to me and asked them if they could please open my car door for me. Simple but impactful. They willingly did it, and I was proud of myself that I hadn’t flinched nor resisted the need to ask for outside support from a stranger.
We all need help, and we all need the support of those around us. Allowing ourselves to accept this and then asking for it is a transformational thing if you take that first step. Not only does it make our lives better, but it also fills up others. Visit the feeling that arises when you are truly able to help a friend of yours in need. There is an undeniable deepening of the connection you feel to them, and your friend is given a chance to be a grateful recipient of your unrelenting support. It’s a Win-Win!
Katina (a Lead Dailey Method Master Teacher Trainer) recently described it this way: “I think of support as the myofascial release balls meant to smooth out the discomfort of change. Increasingly as 2020 came and went and then 2021 moved upon us – it was a constant exercise in continual CONTRACTION and ENDURANCE because there was so much change and uncertainty.
As we ease into May, and it feels like things are shifting more towards normal, allow yourself the opportunity to sit, lie down, find a stretch position and just release into the support of the ground. Don’t force; simply give in to the feeling of being lifted up, held, and then drop into a deepened capacity to let go and surrender.
Support this process inside of you.
Do it both within your body and inside of your relationships.
Because I believe, if we can adopt this way of being, we will be able to see ANYTHING through – together!
Love, Jill